Doubt By Alexis Smithers

Doubt

We’re watching Doubt and I pause right before Viola Davis’s part because
where do we ever get such a succinct explanation of racism and classism as it intersects with
abuse
it’s like she’s broken the fourth wall and it’s bleeding into our truths and
my cousin told me it’s just a movie.
But then he asked me if I thought the
Trinity is more like the Tragedy Trifecta where
the Father is priest
the Son is the child
and the Holy Spirit is haunting.
And like that one gospel
no one believes the child until after they’re dead
but a lot of kids aren’t strong enough to Messiah and
push themselves up out of the grave.
They just stay dead.
He asked me don’t you think there’s
there’s something sick in making children get on their knees to
ask someone who holds their world in their hands
for forgiveness?
He said the only times you should be down like that is when you’re giving someone head or
praying, not both.
I asked him if he was okay and he pressed play and Viola told Meryl Streep that “it’s just til
June.”
He said, “I fucking hate summer.”
He might’ve been trying to tell me something.
But then again, maybe not.

By Alexis Smithers

Biography:

Alexis Smithers is a twenty one year old explosion of messes. They are queer black writer that was published in a book about how horses heal (Wild at Heart by Heather Kirby), and has work that can be found on theEEEL. Fun facts: they tied a pillowcase to their back and tried to fly after seeing Sky High, their mantra can be found in Wreck-It Ralph, The Babadook, or Orphan Black (depending on the day) and they’re terrified of mostly everything but art makes the fear easier to hold.

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