The Reprise of War By Alice van Duuren

The Reprise of War 

i find you there in them
in the warmth on my skin
and the smell of lilacs in the air
in the emptiness in my hands
and the taste of a smile on my lips

gods, you are everything
wise and sharp and bitter and kind
your wit knows mine
just as my sword knows yours

i wish i could capture it all
every trace
and instill it in my senses
in my mind, body, ears, tongue, nose, and eyes
because now, more than ever, i need it
i need you

i need you to wipe the blood from my hands
and fill them with your touch
i need you to chase away the carnage
so all i see is your eyes
and all i hear is your voice

gods, they’re not enough
not here in the chaos of all i am
where your absence is like a whole in my chest
and loving myself is impossible
yet instinctive
i am a god
i am a demon

make it all go away, wisdom
make it all go away

come back to me
fill these empty senses with you
with all of you
i just want to breathe again
and i can’t breathe without you

By Alice van Duuren


Alice van Duuren is a nonbinary writer who used to hate both reading and poetry. Admittedly they were 13 at the time and hated just about everything. Since then, they have studied English Literature, Tourism, and Screen Production and in 2016 will at last be studying Creative Writing. In their free time, Alice likes to daydream about dragons, cuddle with cats and dogs, and have ice cream for breakfast more than they probably should. Based in New Zealand, they are proud of say they live with both a cat and a dog. Whether the cat and dog are proud to be living with them is still up for discussion.

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