FRENCH FRIES & OTHER GREAT WAYS TO EAT POTATOES

On the phone,
my mother laughs and says I might be
taking the starving artist thing a little too far.
I do not tell her about how I am Googling all the ways
I can eat russet potatoes without getting sick of them
because it’s only $3.99 for a five-pound bag,

or about how I am researching “ramen hacks”—
teaching myself how to turn a ten cent bag of instant noodles
into a meal with leftovers
because this month I prioritized booze over food
and I still feel like it was worth it.

See, I don’t have mouths to feed
or people depending on me
so I’m just yo-yoing with my own existence
and depression makes that feel more like a game
than a life decision;
so most of the time

growing takes a backseat to staying,
feels less like savings accounts and budgeting,
and more like doing whatever it takes to get through,
to peel myself like gum off the bottom of my own shoes,
to clean the blood out of the carpet
while the bills change colors like mood rings.

Don’t misunderstand me:
the mess here is not romantic.
It’s not even logical.

Survival rarely is.

By Trista Mateer

Biography:

Trista Mateer is a 25-year old writer from the Baltimore area who could be living anywhere by the time you read this. She is the author of three collections of poetry: Honeybee (2014), The Dogs I Have Kissed (2015), and Small Ghost (2015). She believes in lipstick, sleepytime tea, and owning more books than she can ever possibly read. She is currently working as a contributing editor at Words Dance literary magazine.