The Poet Says She’s Going To Examine Her Life, But Still Doesn’t By Ari Eastman

The Poet Says She’s Going To Examine Her Life, But Still Doesn’t

So the poet is trying to explain her relationship pattern for a poem.

Because, apparently, that’s all she does.
Doesn’t think of taking it to her therapist.
Actually, hasn’t seen a therapist in years.
Still takes Zoloft though.
Still tracks her manic,
her depressive.

So the poet is trying to tell her sabotage outside of the work.

She obsesses over the cute guy who works at the restaurant down the street.
Makes jokes about the life they’d have together,
imagines kissing the sleep from his eyelashes.
Decides to sit in his eye line while he works.
She watches as the illusion is shattered,
as he approaches and asks for her number,
becomes a tangible thing.
Everyone she knows is celebrating.
What an achievement, the boy she has talked about
ad nauseam wants to take her to the dog park, to get breakfast.
He’ll cook! He loves to cook!

So the poet dodges his texts, makes excuses.

She’s moving. And something about an ex she isn’t even in love with.

So the poet isn’t sure why she screws her own happiness.

So the poet is trying to figure out if she does this for the art
or because she’s afraid of being anything else.
Life imitates art.

So the poet does too.

By Ari Eastman


Ari Eastman is a spoken word poet, writer, and YouTuber who will tell you random facts about sharks (if you’re into that kind of thing). She is also the author of two collections of poetry. She strongly believes in balancing the feels and the funnies. And is always down to split a cup of frozen yogurt. Just don’t make fun of her for still liking gummy bears. Her poem is titled: It’s Not My Fault If It Lives Inside Of Me

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