End of Bravery

sitting on the sidewalk splitting popsicles
on the curb; the juice melting, a
private sacrament of sorts, with the sun
too bright: just you, me, & an empty sky,
and i think there was a moment in there
where i almost said
“i forgave you” or
“i still love you” or
“did you ever get around to forgiving me?”

and i feel so young sometimes /
grandfather says
it’s okay to know you know nothing, but i know:

i know all about searching youtube
for the girls who cover love songs and
i know all about the angle of her jaw
when she grins open mouthed & ready
to consume and i know all about the hoping
and the disappointment, and incense makes
me dizzy so i know all about joan,
patron saint of burning, too

i woke up to an empty bed, tired and lonely
and the moon so bright i’m not sure how i
forgot to close the shutters and he told me
it was brave to be afraid and he told me it
was brave to keep going and he told me
i ought to tell you, but…

By kmp

Biography:

kmp is a southern californian poet and an undergraduate student double majoring in comparative literature and anthropology and double minoring in gender and sexuality studies and archaeology. their work has previously been published in The Wall, Neon Anteater Renaissance, New Forum, Rising Phoenix Review, L’Éphémère Review: Issue IV, Disquietude, and Werkloos Mag: “In Limbo”, as well as on their blog https://ashandabstraction.tumblr.com/.