i have not written a poem in three weeks

my heart has broken & healed & broken
again:
i am out of love
i rise, i wash, i eat, i work
the sun filters through the leaves
of the apricot tree i climbed as a
child & i feel nothing. eden was
a prison, too.

and this morning i rose before dawn
with an ache in my shoulder
so bad i could not
breathe deeply,
i worked nine hours,
bought a bar of chocolate on clearance,
and washed clothes for my job interview
a process drawn out
by the busted pipes
which make it so i must stand and
watch the machine
to catch it before it overflows when
it drains.

in my dreams i say
i would rather eat glass
and what i mean is this:
my insides are torn up, anyway; how
could it be worse to finally
bleed out?

 By kmp

Biography:

kmp is a southern californian poet and an undergraduate student double majoring in comparative literature and anthropology and double minoring in gender and sexuality studies and archaeology. their work has previously been published in The Wall, Neon Anteater Renaissance, New Forum, Rising Phoenix Review, L’Éphémère Review: Issue IV, Disquietude, and Werkloos Mag: “In Limbo”, as well as on their blog https://ashandabstraction.tumblr.com/.