IN THIS BODY, ON THIS DAY

I loved the girl hoping she would touch me/ and when that didn’t work/ I tied myself to a rock/ to a hard place/ I set myself on fire/ I became a comet/ became distant/ became dust in the mouths of everyone she will ever kiss//

I loved the girl hoping she would touch me/ and when that didn’t work/ I broke a beer bottle/ broke a nail/ broke a bone/ anything that would require some kind of suture/ some kind of coming back together//

I loved the girl hoping she would touch me/ and when that didn’t work/ I grew reckless/ unruly/ I held up a liquor store/ told my mother I didn’t believe in god/ I loved everything around me just to see if I could stomach it/ and then I did anything to stomach it//

I loved the girl hoping she would touch me/ and when that didn’t work/ I let her kill me/ let her chase me through the forest of my want/ pin me down/ pull my hair/ saw me off at the knees/ I put myself at the edge of every room/ and I let her bury me deep/ bury me dead/ I dangled my flesh off the bone/ just so she could have a taste/ just so she could spit on scripture//

I loved the girl hoping she would touch me/ and when that didn’t work/ I died hoping she would love me/ hoping she would hold me in her dirt mouth/ in her worm mouth/ so she could eat me up/ so she could witness my unbecoming

By Monericka Semeran

Biography:

Monericka is a young, emerging poet in the New England area. She is in undergrad studying International relations and History, hoping to one day change the world. She can be found listening to Mitski at midnight, reading, writing, or considering radical notions of girlhood and blackness in her spare time.