confession

Christ I will come out and admit that
I want to be one of those girls that
adults have warned me never to be, I

Love their emaciated look and the clever ways they
hide their loathing of the world with fresh lipstick
and fervent clouds of cigarette smoke and I can

Hear them laughing collectively, a beautiful chorus of
careless mirth when some old person asks them shouldn’t
you be in school and they smile red lips short shorts and

Stopping cars on highways to see if
they can get a ride and sell some of their beauty
for a little fun you see they had no choice you

See their lives may have been predestined for this &
I used to view those girls who seduced old men for
money in contempt but now I see that when you have

Some beauty the world pretends to be a little kinder &
I realize I’m no better than them worse I want to
be like them, I want to wring out every reward my face &

Body brings me like a sodden sponge, I want to feel the
hungry stares of men and be a manic pixie dream girl for
bored housewives sick of the sexless years of their marriages &

I want this all because I feel now that I’m like a doll
created to be porcelain and sleek haired and expensive on the
shelf but even those perfect dolls are bought & worn down

& destroyed eventually.

By Rooney Kim

Biography:

Rooney Kim (she/her) is a high school senior based in New York City. Her writing mainly focuses on themes of mental illness, queer identity, and love. She has attended the Iowa Young Writers Studio and the Common Young Writers Workshop, among others. She only writes at 3am with music and a cup of coffee. Please send help. She is chaotic.