sorry i ruined the tobias jesso jr. concert. By Julia Gaskill

sorry i ruined the tobias jesso jr. concert.

You ask me
to describe my sadness –
“paint it on the blood moon, love,
so I’ll know what it is I am dealing with,”

but here’s the thing:
my sadness
is a grab-bag of clichés.

My sadness
is a barbed wire fence;
is a wilted peach;
is a fistful of mud;
is a bad hair day;
is a goddamn brick wall;
is the textbook definition of boring.

I imagine an alternate universe
where you get to love someone

who doesn’t cry in public due to
so much sensitivity flooding her veins;

who does not envy all this happy
on strangers’ stupid mugs;

who hasn’t tattooed the word
“sorry” across her forehead.

The blood moon cries:
the world thinks her beautiful but
doesn’t take note how she shows
her innards at every autumn’s turn.

We are both trying
to get a grip on things.

If only people
would stop marveling
at every eclipse
we craft

when really we are just
finger painting
our boring sadness,
hoping we
don’t ruin the moment
again.

First published by Thirteen Myna Birds.

By Julia Gaskill

Biography:

Julia Gaskill is a professional daydreamer from Portland, Oregon. She was both a staff writer and producer for the Pencil Ink Production’s web series “The Misselthwaite Archives,” and she will be reprising both roles on the studio’s new web series “The Cloisterham Case Files.” Most recently, Julia competed in the 2016 Women of the World Poetry Slam in Brooklyn, New York. Her work has been featured on FreezeRay Poetry, Thirteen Myna Birds, Front Row Central, and Voicemail Poems, and she was nominated for Best of The Net 2015 for one of her pieces. It goes without saying that she loves Muppets more than you. Find her poetry and information about available chapbooks at http://geekgirlgrownup.tumblr.com

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