Trigger Warning

the sound is unmistakable

shotgun cocked

& I know it’s loaded.                  like him.

startled by the sound,     but not surprised.

bottles               lined up                         by the trash can,

his hallelujahs & his hosannas

my threnodies & dirges

the spell & the pall defining us

sober, the guns are here to protect the house.

but mostly they’re to menace us both.

I forget             why                  we’re arguing:

looking like                                            his beat-down mother

& suddenly                                            he’s thirteen again

trapped

in a house of punching drunks

two by two                    I take to the stairs,

weight of sound,

unforgiving                   ka-shunk                        of the shotgun

loaded

waiting

with him                                   upstairs

By Allie Marini

A poem from Disarm: A Themed issue Responding to Mass Shootings in America

Biography:

Allie Marini is a cross-genre writer holding degrees from both Antioch University of Los Angeles & New College of Florida. She was a 2018 Shitty Women in Literature nominee, and has been a finalist for Best of the Net and nominated for the Pushcart Prize. Her masthead credits include Lunch Ticket, Spry Literary Journal & Mojave River Review. She has published a number of chapbooks, including Pictures from the Center of The Universe (Paper Nautilus, winner of the Vella Prize) and Southern Cryptozoology: A Field Guide to Beasts of the Southern Wild (Hyacinth Girl Press, finalist for the SFPA’s Elgin Award) In addition to her work on the page, Allie was a member of Oakland’s 2017 National Slam Team. A native Floridian now freezing to death in the Bay Area, Allie writes poetry, fiction, and essays. Find her online: www.alliemarini.com